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Comedy, Breeding Don’t Mix in Lame ‘The Babymakers’

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HollywoodChicago.com Oscarman rating: 2.0/5.0
Rating: 2.0/5.0

CHICAGO– One of the questions we’re never suppose to ask the married couple without kids is, ‘when are you going to have kids?’ There might be specific reasons that it’s none of your damn business. Surprisingly, there is a whole so-called comedy based on this question and answer. Olivia Munn goes kid hatching in ‘The Babymakers.’

No matter how you slice the subject of infertility, it simply isn’t the right story line for a comic romp, especially an unfunny one. Two members of Broken Lizard, the cult comedy group – Kevin Heffernan and Jay Chandrasekhar (who also directs) – give themselves up filming and supporting a domestic tale about a couple who cannot conceive. It becomes a heist film, because what they need to steal is so unlikely that it hardly bears mentioning. Okay, it’s seminal fluid from a sperm bank. That will have ‘em rolling in the aisles.

Tommy (Paul Schneider) and Audrey (Olivia Munn) are celebrating their third anniversary by reminding each other that it’s time to have a baby. After a pointless montage of them having sex (with clothes on, Olivia’s non-nudity clause don’t you know) there still isn’t a bun in the oven. They seem to share this information with the whole world, including Tommy’s buds Wade (Kevin Heffernan) and the wacky Zig-Zag (Nat Faxon), plus Audrey’s friend Karen (Aisha Tyler).

Paul Schneider, Olivia’
Tommy (Paul Schneider) and Audrey (Olivia Munn) Cheer for Better Career Choices in ‘The Babymakers’
Photo credit: Millennium Entertainment

After a fertility check, it turns out that Tommy has lazy swimmers. But there is a rub. Four years earlier, he had sold his sperm to a clinic to buy Audrey an engagement ring (and they say romance is dead). Tommy and his posse hatch a plan to break into the sperm bank and make a withdrawal. They even hire a thief who hails from India named Ron Jon (Jay Chandrasekhar) to help them plan the scheme. Nothing can go wrong, right?

Except the whole execution of this bizarre and unnecessary film. Okay, let’s see, this is a situation where the characters will say “sperm” many times, so it follows that there will be sixth grade jokes about masturbation, sex, genitalia and the spunk itself. There is even a scene where a character gets caught in a puddle of the fluid, truly one of the low points of comic cinema history. That, and one of the screenwriters is Gerry Swallow, which is inherently funnier than the film he wrote.

Paul Schneider and Olivia Munn have very little chemistry as the couple, it’s questionable that such a pair would exist in reality. Schneider plays the whole film as if he’s embarrassed, which would be understandable, and Munn still seems a bit too lip glossed to be cooing as a Mommy. The casting seemed based on getting wanton starlets onto the set in lieu of character creation.

The two members of the Broken Lizards, Kevin Heffernan and Jay Chandrasekhar, were the prime motivators in getting this film to screen, and they are obviously not ready for the romantic domestic interplay. All the supporting characters are loud and obvious, especially Jay C’s Ron Jon, who plays an Indian stereotype at ear splitting volume. He doesn’t say or do anything funny, it’s just suppose to be funny that he is from India, and that he’s loudly doing the accent.

Kevin Huffernan, Paul Schneider’
Wade (Kevin Huffernan) Advises Tommy in ‘The Babymakers’
Photo credit: Millennium Entertainment

The biggest offense of the film is that it’s offensive. The last time anyone checked, couples not being able to conceive is not exactly fertile ground for a laugh fest. Perhaps as a subtle satire, or a statement about the life-sucking futility of it all, but definitely not a bunch of wacky guys breaking into a sperm bank to retrieve four year old frozen juice. Will it work for the couple? Does the slide saying “two years later” mean anything to you?

Olivia Munn has an ascendant career. She’s high profile now on Aaron Sorkin’s new HBO show “The Newsroom.” She did “Iron Man 2,”“Magic Mike” and the stale “I Don’t Know How She Does It.” Add “The Babymakers” to the films she’ll cross off of her career perspective in the year 2045, if man is still alive.

“The Babymakers” opens everywhere August 3rd. Featuring Olivia Munn, Paul Schneider, Kevin Heffernan, Nat Faxon, Aisha Tyler and Jay Chandrasekhar. Screenplay by Paul Gaulke and Gerry Swallow. Directed by Jay Chandrasekhar. Rated “R”

HollywoodChicago.com senior staff writer Patrick McDonald

By PATRICK McDONALD
Senior Staff Writer
HollywoodChicago.com
pat@hollywoodchicago.com

© 2012 Patrick McDonald, HollywoodChicago.com

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